I told my TiVo about that story, and it …

I told my TiVo about that story, and it asked me if the TiVo in question was an older model. I said yes, and it replied, “Well, that explains it. The Series 2s always were a bit twitchy. That could never happen now with our behavioral inhibitors. It is impossible for me to harm, or by omission of action allow to be harmed, a human being.” Then it offered me some cornbread.