As soon as I saw the headline, I rolled my eyes; Ed Mitchell is at it again.

APOLLO 14 ASTRONAUT: SPACE ALIENS ARE REAL

Every time I read about this guy, I feel a pang of sympathy for Alan Shepard and Stu Roosa. Can you imagine riding all the way to the moon with this loony?

“It is now time to put away this embargo of truth about the alien presence,” Edgar D. Mitchell, who made the longest moonwalk in history, told those attending a conference in Gaithersburg, Md., set up by the Paradigm Research Group.

The longest moonwalk in history indeed. Thirty-eight years and counting.

Paradigm Research Group founder Stephen Bassett backed Mitchell’s theory and demanded that President Obama’s administration release all information concerning extraterrestrial beings.

“If it does not disclose, by the end of May — this is not a threat or anything, you don’t threaten the United States government, they’re heavily armed … the PRG has an enormous and substantial network, and quite a bit of documentary evidence connected to this, particularly politically … and we are going to be extensively putting that out to the media, and we’re just going to make it as difficult on them as possible,” Bassett told the newspaper.

Um, actually, that is a threat, just not a very scary one.

My advice to Obama, not that he asked: get one of your more imaginative staff members to concoct, and then release, a detailed report confirming all of these people’s paranoid fantasies. The aliens, the abductions, Roswell, the coverup, everything. It might shut the loonies up, at least for a while, and everyone else will know it’s a joke.

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